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book review

Unscripted by Claire Handscombe Book Review & Blog Tour
*I was gifted a copy of this book in return for this review and as part of the blog tour….
Books
/ April 7, 2019

Dear Mummy Bear shared a post.

21 hours ago

This is beautiful 😍♥️❤️🌈
(Credit: Korrig'Anne) ... See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear

2 weeks ago

Hello 🙋‍♀️

So this is me, Claire. The lady behind the blog. At 36 weeks pregnant of course 🤣

Bear is at nursery today so his daddy & I are off out & will probably pick up some gifts for his birthday, cannot actually believe he turns 4 in 3 weeks!! Hes only asked for 1 toy so we're going to get clothes he needs & books for him too. What are you guys upto today? Also any ideas for a 4 year old's birthday are welcome 🙂 I'll be 39 weeks pregnant too so not sure where we'd go out as I'm definitely feeling it 🙈

I think baby is getting ready. He was head down but mobile on Monday, bump seems to have dropped but I'll have to ask for opinions on that one, movements are back down & middle & my face etc is quite swollen. Or maybe it's just end of pregnancy signs 🙈 ... See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear shared a post.

3 weeks ago

It would kill me with its Jaws like but I really want one 😍😍 ... See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear

3 weeks ago

We're ready for you baby! 💙

Well, mostly. Love our little basket of cloth nappies, his little jacket we bought last year & the bear his big brother refused to leave the shop without 🙈

So far, cloth nappy wise, we have @bambinomio miosolo nappies in such beautiful prints 😍 we need more though definitely!

And did you spot the lovely @childsfarm hair & body wash and @bloomandblossomuk moisturiser duo! Can't wait to use these on the boys at bathtime 💙 ... See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear shared a post.

2 months ago

Anyone feel this? It's all super true and definitely happy to do it again in a heartbeat but goodness pregnancy is fun right?! 😂🙈Things they don’t tell you about pregnancy

1. Your sense of smell goes from “is this poo?” To “jimmy I know you fucking ate fish two weeks ago, if you come near me again I’ll stab you”

2. Nausea makes you hate every smell you ever loved. I now hate cocoa butter.

3. You become hormonal. That commercial where the boy runs up to his mother to give him a block of chocolate leaves you hysterical. And should your partner ask you if you’re okay, or laugh at your hysterical nature, you will squint so hard at him that your eyes shoot laser beams to his balls - or at least that’s what you imagine. Fucker

4. Your nipples become two wooden prongs that stick out like door handles and your areolas become satellite dishes that are all so sensitive, you even wanna punch the wind when it sweeps by... which you can predict because those nips are so big the weather channel can be broadcasted to your brain “100% chance of rain”

5. Speaking of rain, a little sneeze here and there never hurt nobody, unless you’re pregnant (or given birth) nothing like going back to toddlerhood when you’d wet your pants and hide it from people. Bless you.

6. If ya ain’t projectile vomiting randomly, you’re pooping... or if you ain’t pooping you’re not. Because you’re constipated. But don’t strain too much - because Hemi the haemorrhoid will come to town, and he feels like IT the clown... teethy and strange

7. Snots. You got em. Your nose is stuffed like a turkey. Might be bloody too. There is no relief, because you can’t use anything medicated anymore because you’re blowing your nose for two.

8. Muff daggers. Oh good lord... walking by all happily and BOOM your baby stabs your with a uterine knife and stops you in your tracks.. “you fed me eggs?” Boom! Right in the kisser

9. Glow is another word for sweat. Everything feels so hot you think you’re in the Bahamas. There’s no beauty in pregnancy. Sure your hair grows a lot, but so does your chin hair... and it brings a lot of its friends, acne. You’ve got more acne than you did when you were 14. It’s puberty all over again.

10. You become so big, that you can’t see your feet, but it’s Okay, because they expand to hobbit feet because they don’t want you to forget they’re there

11. You can’t put shoes on. You ever cried because of that? I have

12. I also cried because my lips and nose became so fat thay needed their own postcode

13. You cant shave your vag. I mean you’re pregnant you don’t need to, but for some reason you want to groom yourself for labour so you go in blindly and are left with a mullet Mohawk... you tried right?

14. You can’t wipe your own ass.... this is where you really get to test your lovers love

15. People like to touch you. Random strangers will put their hand on your stomach like it’s a crystal ball and they can predict your future. “It is girl. You carry high” okay Svetlana, I saw a doodle on the screen but you know better than I do!

16. Pain in every orifice. All your bones near your fandango loosen up and you feel like your baby is renovating inside of you.

17. Your legs do the hippy hippy shake in the middle of the night and wanna dance while you want to relax. It’s fun

18. Even though you NEED to sleep, you just can’t. Nothing helps. Nothing

19. So you eat. And even though you’re not meant to eat for two, you will, and if anyone annoys you about that you think about eating them too

20. But not too much because that baby squashes all the stomach room

21. So you get constant heartburn. Even bald babies cause heartburn. Your oesophagus is literally screaming every day, even if you eat celery. It screams.

22. Which you will be too, because you think you’re in labour all the time because there’s some dude called Braxton and he must have had hiccups and then renamed it to braxton hicks which feel like you’re being winded and punched in the vajootz every 6-10 minutes... but who’s timing? (You are)

23. Change your name to bleeding gums Murphy. Every time you brush you’ll think you have gingivitis - and you probably do, because pregnancy is beautiful.

24. You become dumb.

25. What was I saying?
26. Where am I?

27. You feel like you’ve run a marathon even when you’ve walked three steps to the freezer to eat ice cream

28. You might not like being pregnant, because all of the above is fucking fantastic am I right?

29. But for some crazy reason, you’d do it again in a heartbeat! ... See MoreSee Less

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book review

Unscripted by Claire Handscombe Book Review & Blog Tour