Hey!! I’m sorry I’ve been a little absent lately, we’ve had a few things going on at home but all I’ve wanted to do was write. Well, here I am and I’m back with a tag because, who doesn’t love a good tag post. The wonderful Charlotte tagged myself and some other lovely mamas in this. I do love doing a tag now and again, I love to answer questions and I’m so nosey… I love finding out about other people through them too! So here, have a nose at mine haha!
How old were you when you had your first child?
I found out we were expecting our little dude when I was 24 years old and he was born when I was 25.
What was the hardest thing about being pregnant for 9 months?
My pregnancy with bear was actually really wonderful. My sciatica flared up once or twice but I managed that. Towards the end got a little harder actually as he was laying so low throughout the 9 months anyway, I struggled with moving much. I took maternity leave from work a week or two earlier than intended as I needed to rest. I just felt exhausted and a bit achey. I wasn’t worried about pregnancy or childbirth once, I was so excited and content. I think the hardest part was the stay in hospital at the end with pre-eclampsia but I just wanted my own bed and sleep because I got none haha!
Can you think of any good things you enjoyed during those 9 months?
Yes! Most of it to be fair haha! Watching my bump grow, using an app/the internet to see about baby’s growth and development each week, feeling the first kicks, and the kicks and flutters every time after that (I used to come home from work, have my tea then spend a good hour or so on the couch tickling my tummy, giving it a massage with moisturising cream and singing to my bump). I loved the buying things for the baby no matter what it was and all of the dreams of family life, trying to decide what names we both liked for either gender (even though it got frustrating sometimes) and not knowing the gender because we didn’t want to know until the birth.
In your opinion, were all of the things you heard about childbirth accurate or way off?
I’ve heard some pretty nasty stuff in my time. But I was also told A LOT that childbirth is always different and people only tell you the negative stories really (well mostly). I think I just went into the whole thing with an open mind and I remember responding to my partner’s sister with “well it’s gotta come out somehow” when she asked if I was scared or nervous. There was a fair bit of pain but I feel I handled it well and it was all worth it. I’d definitely recommend to try and not think about it too much and just go with the flow. Your body DOES tell you what to do which was correct (a lot of people did tell me that) but also research your own stuff on how you want things to happen too!
Would you have handled childbirth differently if you could re-do it?
Okay, so. It didn’t go as I’d ever imagined it would. I didn’t get my delayed clamping (but he was breech and they had to get him away ASAP. My partner was telling them what I wanted but they gotta help that baby right?). I also didn’t get my water birth which I’d always dreamed of (because I was induced and had pre-eclampsia I was told I had to stay on the monitor but then there were a couple of hiccups anyway so I don’t think I’d have liked having a water birth that time). Everything else went pretty well and I reckon I handed it quite well. Though my partner or my mum might say differently haha!
What would be your advice for someone who is about to have a baby?
I would say first of all RELAX! Pregnancy and childbirth are two absolutely wonderful, amazing occasions in life. Also do your research if you want to but also keep an open mind. Things can change all the time but don’t be afraid to speak up or ask questions. I asked a lot of why’s in my pregnancy at all different stages to different professionals etc, but it really does help you to understand what’s going on.
What has been the hardest thing about being a mum?
The work/life/home balance. Finding myself. PND and anxiety for sure. I’ve had a lot of stresses and worries and I still do. I think my PND has settled, or at least, it’s not the same as it was. Although I do have anxiety and depression still for sure, just not in the same way and not always related to the same things. I think I struggled more when bear was younger because I felt like he needed me more, I didn’t ever want to leave his side. The second I get an inkling he’s unwell or not himself, I’m on it. But I’m happier to let him go to my friend Lisa’s house to play or to go up to Liverpool to stay with the in laws because it’s right for him and he flourishes and everything is so wonderful for him. The work/life balance thing still gets to me, I work shifts and long days/nights etc so it can be really hard but I’m being more pro active about making changes for the better for our family which is good I think.
What has been the most rewarding thing about being a mum?
Seeing him develop and flourish and grow into the little man he is today! Even still I’m amazed when he learns something new or does something I’ve not seen/heard him do before. My partner always always tells me I’m a good mother and that everything our little boy is and does now, is because we made him and we helped him. And I think that’s pretty bloody rewarding.
What was the most surprising thing you discovered about being a mum?
How hard and draining and exhausting it is. Whether it’s because you’re up in the night feeding, up early because baby has woke up or even just how much energy they have and how much they want and need from you. It’s easy to get caught up and get lost in ‘being mum’. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. And having a baby is a HUGE change, it’s massive. But you don’t actually realise just how massive until you’re there.
What is the best memory you have involving your child?
Corny but…when I held him for the first time. As soon as he was checked over, they gave him to me, let me remove my clothing and wrapped us in towels and him in a blanket too. Hearing his little cries, discovering his face and meeting him was an immense feeling nobody could ever describe. That was it, we were a family of 3, our own little unit. And my partner telling me whether baby was a boy or girl was just fab, we had waited 9 months to learn everything about this tiny human I grew and to meet them, and when we did, it was incredible.
What was the most exciting milestone?
I think every milestone is exciting in it’s own way but I think walking was the most exciting one so far. I felt like it took him ages to get going but when he did he was so bloody proud of himself and happy all (most) of the time. He practiced so much once he learnt how to do it and he was so funny!
What is the worst thing your child has ever done?
I’m not gonna lie, he can be SO naughty at the minute. He screams back at me when I tell him off. He looks at me cheekily and does things anyway when I tell him to stop. A couple of times recently, hes smacked me when I’ve told him off. I think he’s just learning about his anger and frustrations and how to deal with social and emotional situations but it is so so hard.
What habit do you wish your child didn’t have?
Pulling all the DVD’s off the shelves (and everything out of everywhere because he just wants to line them up). He creates SUCH a huge mess. It’s ridiculous. I was hoovering yesterday and our hoover is knackered so I have to use the hand held part rather than the actual hoover part and he got all of the toys out I’d tidied to be able to clean up and he got them all out and lined them up in front of me. It’s infuriating keep putting the same stuff back a hundred times a day. We try to get him to have a couple toys out at a time but to put them back if he wants something else. It’s not going very well.
What habit of their makes you most proud?
When he shares (not always but he does sometimes) and how bloody brilliant he is at using his manners. He says ‘please’ for everything. He wants Moana on, he wants songs from Moana on, he wants a piece of fruit or a biscuit or wants you to read to him. He’s also really good at putting rubbish in the bin (he does it himself now, no asking) it has definitely become habit, he once did a picture at nursery and put it in the bin apparently.
Do you share any similarities with your child? (Both physical and personality?)
A lot of people say how much he looks like me. I’m not sure personally, I think he’s his daddy’s double. He’s also a little stressy at times like me and likes food too. He also loves a good chill out watching TV or just some quiet time, but not always at the time I need him to relax a little haha.
Where would you like your child to be in 10 years?
He would be at school but I want him to be enjoying himself. And discovering things. Learning about people and the world around him and just generally being happy.
Is there something that having a child has taught you?
It’s taught me that I’m far stronger than I think I am. Even on the bad days when I’m feeling really down on myself and feel weak, just looking at him reminds me I’m doing great with this little human here. It’s taught me to stop taking any shit too and to cut out negativity. I haven’t fully but I’m definitely being firmer with myself, for the sake of my family really. I’ve cut a few people out and dealt with a few situations better with the help from my partner which I never thought I could do at one point.
Did you imagine you’d become a mum at the age you became a mum?
Yes and no. I always thought I would have my first baby when I was ever so slightly younger. But we weren’t ready then.
Describe your child in one sentence.
He is an absolutely incredible, mischevious, wonderful mini human who will learn and teach us many amazing things in life.
As always, I’ve loved answering these questions and completing this tag. I tag these wonderful mamas to also do this on their blogs: Lisa at Oh Luna, Romeca at Beauty, Bump & Me, Rachael at Pale Girl Rambling, Jeorgia at Jeorgia Cook and Charlotte at Cups of Charlotte.