Books Archives | Dear Mummy Bear

Books Uncategorized April 7, 2019April 7, 2019 by Claire

Unscripted by Claire Handscombe Book Review & Blog Tour

*I was gifted a copy of this book in return for this review and as part of the blog tour. Unscripted is a book about unrequited love, friendship and following dreams. Nobody is a bigger fan of actor Thom Cassidy than Libby. Nobody. That’s why she’s totally going to marry him.

Books October 16, 2018 by Claire

Jackson Saves an Owl Book Review & Book Tour

A day later than planned, we’re joining the book tour for Jackson Saves an Owl written by Darren Garwood and illustrated by Carl Osborne.

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2 weeks ago

Anyone feel this? It’s all super true and definitely happy to do it again in a heartbeat but goodness pregnancy is fun right?! 😂🙈Things they don’t tell you about pregnancy

1. Your sense of smell goes from “is this poo?” To “jimmy I know you fucking ate fish two weeks ago, if you come near me again I’ll stab you”

2. Nausea makes you hate every smell you ever loved. I now hate cocoa butter.

3. You become hormonal. That commercial where the boy runs up to his mother to give him a block of chocolate leaves you hysterical. And should your partner ask you if you’re okay, or laugh at your hysterical nature, you will squint so hard at him that your eyes shoot laser beams to his balls – or at least that’s what you imagine. Fucker

4. Your nipples become two wooden prongs that stick out like door handles and your areolas become satellite dishes that are all so sensitive, you even wanna punch the wind when it sweeps by… which you can predict because those nips are so big the weather channel can be broadcasted to your brain “100% chance of rain”

5. Speaking of rain, a little sneeze here and there never hurt nobody, unless you’re pregnant (or given birth) nothing like going back to toddlerhood when you’d wet your pants and hide it from people. Bless you.

6. If ya ain’t projectile vomiting randomly, you’re pooping… or if you ain’t pooping you’re not. Because you’re constipated. But don’t strain too much – because Hemi the haemorrhoid will come to town, and he feels like IT the clown… teethy and strange

7. Snots. You got em. Your nose is stuffed like a turkey. Might be bloody too. There is no relief, because you can’t use anything medicated anymore because you’re blowing your nose for two.

8. Muff daggers. Oh good lord… walking by all happily and BOOM your baby stabs your with a uterine knife and stops you in your tracks.. “you fed me eggs?” Boom! Right in the kisser

9. Glow is another word for sweat. Everything feels so hot you think you’re in the Bahamas. There’s no beauty in pregnancy. Sure your hair grows a lot, but so does your chin hair… and it brings a lot of its friends, acne. You’ve got more acne than you did when you were 14. It’s puberty all over again.

10. You become so big, that you can’t see your feet, but it’s Okay, because they expand to hobbit feet because they don’t want you to forget they’re there

11. You can’t put shoes on. You ever cried because of that? I have

12. I also cried because my lips and nose became so fat thay needed their own postcode

13. You cant shave your vag. I mean you’re pregnant you don’t need to, but for some reason you want to groom yourself for labour so you go in blindly and are left with a mullet Mohawk… you tried right?

14. You can’t wipe your own ass…. this is where you really get to test your lovers love

15. People like to touch you. Random strangers will put their hand on your stomach like it’s a crystal ball and they can predict your future. “It is girl. You carry high” okay Svetlana, I saw a doodle on the screen but you know better than I do!

16. Pain in every orifice. All your bones near your fandango loosen up and you feel like your baby is renovating inside of you.

17. Your legs do the hippy hippy shake in the middle of the night and wanna dance while you want to relax. It’s fun

18. Even though you NEED to sleep, you just can’t. Nothing helps. Nothing

19. So you eat. And even though you’re not meant to eat for two, you will, and if anyone annoys you about that you think about eating them too

20. But not too much because that baby squashes all the stomach room

21. So you get constant heartburn. Even bald babies cause heartburn. Your oesophagus is literally screaming every day, even if you eat celery. It screams.

22. Which you will be too, because you think you’re in labour all the time because there’s some dude called Braxton and he must have had hiccups and then renamed it to braxton hicks which feel like you’re being winded and punched in the vajootz every 6-10 minutes… but who’s timing? (You are)

23. Change your name to bleeding gums Murphy. Every time you brush you’ll think you have gingivitis – and you probably do, because pregnancy is beautiful.

24. You become dumb.

25. What was I saying?
26. Where am I?

27. You feel like you’ve run a marathon even when you’ve walked three steps to the freezer to eat ice cream

28. You might not like being pregnant, because all of the above is fucking fantastic am I right?

29. But for some crazy reason, you’d do it again in a heartbeat! … See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear

2 weeks ago

I meant to post this on new years day as that’s when I turned exactly 30 weeks pregnant with our 2nd little boy. Bear adores him so much already, I’m hoping this is how it stays until theyre old enough to bicker and squabble and be told to share toys or they’re going in the bin (the toys not the kids but we haven’t gotten to that bit yet 😂). So today I’m 30+2 weeks pregnant. Its flying by so fast and I’m still yet to update you all on the blog which I do intend to do. But for now, have a picture of 2 of my boys, the littlest and the one still growing 🙂 💙 … See MoreSee Less

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3 weeks ago

Every single night 🤣 although I do fall asleep pretty easily, but feel the kicks as soon as I wake no matter what time it is 🤣🤦‍♀️Familiar? ❤️ … See MoreSee Less

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Dear Mummy Bear

2 months ago

#GIFTED

In the morning, I have my GTT (glucose tolerance test) and I have to sit around & wait for 2 hours so this is the book I’m taking! Isn’t it pretty 😍 I love the shopaholic books. I’ll have to try and muffle my giggles though I’m sure as @sophiekinsellawriter writing is bloody brilliant!

#pbloggers #mummybloggers #pregnancy #diabetes #glucosetolerancetest #reading #bookbloggers #newbook #christmas … See MoreSee Less

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2 months ago

❤️❤️Dads, support your breastfeeding partners! 🤱 … See MoreSee Less

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