For many years I’ve definitely found myself as the type of person who would much rather stay in, keeping myself to myself than going out doing things or rather spending time with people in a sense. I always found myself making up excuses as to why I couldn’t meet a friend for shopping that day or trying to get things done any other way than having to go out and do them and it was simply because I couldn’t really be bothered.
I found myself not wanting to interact with people I didn’t know and I’ve always been the kind of person to worry about what other people think. I don’t spend time on my hair or wear makeup or dress in the latest fashions and as much as I love just being me, I’ve always felt like I’m being judged, so it’s never bothered me to not go out unless I really needed to or anywhere on my own for that matter.
All that changed once I had a baby. For the first few weeks I was still healing and getting back to feeling like myself again. I’d had 2 lots of stitches after the birth and generally felt ridiculously unwell for a while after (I think it was due to losing so much blood but I couldn’t even get myself to the shower afterwards, I had to crawl and sit on the floor because I felt so dizzy and deathly) so all I wanted to do was stay in, look after my newborn and get back to feeling myself again.
However, after those first few weeks, all I wanted to do was to be out and about doing things. I’d gotten to the point where I actually hated staying in all day. I play with him, sing to him, we read stories and he’s loved playing on his play mat and in his bouncer for weeks, but I couldn’t help but feel like we both needed to get out and get some fresh air even if it meant just walking over to the retail park for a couple of hours just to have a look at stuff I couldn’t afford and we didn’t need. But it was us getting out.
One day, I just got so sick of doing very little, I Googled our local sure start centres to find out if they had things going on and what classes were available to babies so young. Turns out there’s quite a few we just needed to put our name down for some on a waiting list as they were so popular. But I became so impatient, I had to Google a bit more and with the help of a friend, we slowly started to go to baby groups and different classes. Logan now goes to nursery rhymes group at the library and breastfeeding support on a Thursday, baby yoga and baby massage on a Friday for the next few weeks, baby sensory on a Wednesday in term time and now he goes to messy play and soft play on a Monday.
When I find new groups, I still can’t help but worry about going on my own with him, worrying what other people think of me and how on earth do I even get over my shyness around new people?! But making sure Logan has a great social life, meets new babies and gets out doing activities really does take over and motivates me to get out more. I guess you could say he kinda saves me in a way 🙂
Little man at baby sensory at around 8-10 weeks old.