Recently, I’ve been struggling. Not just struggling to write or blog or anything like that. Genuinely struggling. I’ve been back at work for a few months now working similar shifts every week so that’s not changed, I still have a toddler to run around after so that hasn’t change either. But I’ve been so tired. And I’ve fallen out of love with things. I don’t find much joy in what I’m doing at the moment, so I haven’t written or blogged. I haven’t read any new books or had any nice relaxing bubble baths & me time. I get up & go to work, come home & go to bed. Or I get up, get into routine with little bear, shower when he’s gone to bed then go to bed myself. I just have no motivation. I’ve lost it. My mind is elsewhere constantly & I’m just feeling so down and sad. Thing is, I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly has triggered this, but when speaking to my counsellor, she told me it was a build up of things.
Oh little bear, sometimes you break my heart, and my sanity. I love you so damn much it hurts, but this last leap has been so testing.
Having a 15 month old, I’m pretty used to these mental leaps, growth spurts, the testing times. But this recent one, has brought me to tears, mentally & emotionally exhausted me & wondered ‘what the fuck even is this?!‘ We are now seeing light at the end of the tunnel, ’cause we all know we get there somehow right?! But one thing is for certain, while I was struggling to figure out why my toddler just wanted to bite me, push the boundaries, and whinge more than Bing Bunny does in the space of an 8 minute episode, I knew it would be over soon, and gosh did I wish I drank more wine (it was most certainly needed).
Something you may not know about me is that I am a huge stationery lover. I love cute notebooks, different styles of pens, craft papers, adorable accessories. You name it, I’ve probably got a secret stash somewhere (remember the gel pen craze of the 00’s?) Something I have never tried before though, is chalk markers. When I was younger, I loved drawing and writing with chalk on the pavements and in the street (we lived in a cul de sac and it was gonna rain and wash it all away anyway) but now, chalk really goes through me. That is until Chalkola contacted me and asked if I’d like to try out their chalk marker pens, and the fun part for you guys, keep reading and you could bag yourself some!
I’ve said before that I’ve been broody for a long time. I felt I was ready for children before my partner & I started a relationship but obviously, I wasn’t going to compromise anything at the time & I was still finishing my studies at college. When we found out we were expecting Podge 5 years into our relationship, I was over the moon to say the least. It was everything I’d hoped for, especially after all of the troubles we faced with PCOS & contraceptive issues. During the pregnancy though, I still felt incredibly broody. My child would be born soon & I just wanted him/her here right now. And then another. It didn’t take long after he had entered our lives that I felt ready for the experience again.
Some of the first nappies we tried when Bear was born were ASDA Little Angels newborn ones, they were amazing on him & so easy to use, such great all rounders. There were no leaks or poo-namis either! (Well, he had a couple but he was newborn & they were to be expected ha!) We haven’t really used them since the size 2’s (people always want to buy nappies for us which usually happen to be other brands because of where they shop.) But we were recently given the chance to try out the newly designed & improved ASDA Little Angels Comfort & Protect Nappies* & (*Spoiler Alert*) it’s safe to say they have taken over from other nappies we were already using.